Trapped in an Outhouse!
Dear Rudy,
It was a Monday afternoon in the middle of summer, and I was traveling in the Big Horn National Forrest. I stopped to use the restroom -- one of those $50,000 outhouses the federal government is famous for, and not more than a few months old. My 5-year-old son was traveling with me, and he had just fallen asleep. I decided not to wake him. I left the car windows about halfway down and went inside the outhouse.
When I turned to exit, I discovered the doorknob was missing on the inside, and there was a 1/4-inch stub in its place. I tried to loosen the screws in the lock faceplate with my pocket knife blade. No luck. I started looking for another way out. The outhouse had no windows, only transparent green roofing. The steel door had a steel frame that opened inward. I began to throw my shoulders into the door until I thought I was going to break a bone.
At the bottom of the door was a section of louvers about a foot square. I began to kick them until my foot ached and I had to switch feet. After 25 minutes of steady kicking, the louvers began to give. One of them broke, then another. I found that the door had a particle board core. More kicking. Finally I kicked my way through to the outside. I laid on the floor and reached through the jagged hole, cutting my arm and hand in the process. I just barely could reach the knob outside, and I opened the door.
My little boy was still sleeping in the car. I didn't wake him. I just drove off shaking my head.
John
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